I had my last clinical.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Self portrait.

Things with school are wrapping up. From the outside, I have accomplished so much. Two years ago I knew next to nothing about the human body. My knowledge regarding the reproductive system was up where it was supposed to be as a result of my natural interest in babies and my perception of womanhood.

Today I had my LAST CLINICAL! I will still have a day next week where I take care of robot patients and probably all of them will die but that's okay because THEY ARE ROBOTS.

This was me before clinical. It was windy but bright and I had done my makeup (mascara + lipsense + snapchat filter) for once in my life.
8 1/2 hours and four patients later in the rain... don't be fooled by snapchat filters, friends. 

My first day of clinical almost two years ago I spent 4 hours trying to get my vital signs done and convincing someone to take a bath. One person! Four hours! This week I took care of four different patients and gave them all medications and did all sorts of things. I'm growing up.

I'm getting over school. I am having such a hard hard time convincing myself to do my homework and to finish strong. I feel like I've run too hard for too long. I have a couple significant items to cross of my list for graduation and if those items don't get done then I don't get to become a real nurse! So why am I avoiding them?

Somehow over the course of the last two years I have become somewhat comfortable with my current situation. I am competent in my job. I know how to do school, as much as I complain. There is stress and anxiety but it is expected and normal.

Mandatory College Round 2 Field Trip


Still continued! 

And there is unknown stress and anxiety ahead! A couple weeks before I graduated Round 1, I wondered if I had made a poor decision in joining FOCUS. I wondered if I should have gone straight to grad school or taken a job where I knew I'd be in the same state or time zone as my family and friends. This round, the majority of my classmates have accepted jobs at the same facility. And I didn't! I always kind of have to do things my own way, but there is always a moment where I panic and wonder if I made the wrong choice.

Nine years apart, and we are both graduating this year! He'll graduate high school and I'll finish College Round 2. 

The advantage is that now I kind of know how I work. I usually take a long time to ponder things in my heart... or I make an impulse decision on something I just know is right. For these sorts of decisions, I spend months being excited about it. When the event draws near I become nervous-I have built it up so much in my head. Onwards and upwards! Things are getting closer.

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