It Might Have Been Easier in Florida

Saturday, September 12, 2015

In Florida, I had a terrible time in the faith; I felt like I was drowning. I was questioning why I was in Florida, why I was a missionary, and what God was doing in my life.

And I have a lot of similar feelings now.

In Florida, I didn't have anyone local. Which was easy to dismiss, since I had just moved there and was surrounded by retirees. And here it feels like I don't have anyone either, which is not quite true. I know I have my family, but sometimes I just want a minute to myself, and in Florida I definitely had that.

In Florida, I had mandatory Jesus time. And people noticed if I didn't show up. And try as I might to be angry, when I sat in front of Jesus everyday for months, eventually I had to let go of the bitterness. In Florida, I knew I was united in mission with my fellow missionaries, far away as they might be. In Florida, I knew I only had to endure 9 months, and I was done. In Florida, I had mission partners praying for me and supporting me. In Florida, I had a staff mentor who called me every week.

So it might have been easier in Florida.